Sunday, July 25, 2010

Got Any Garlic?


It seems that every month there’s a new vampire show or movie available for public consumption. In the last year Twilight movies were released, HBO’s True Blood returned for its third season, the CW premiered The Vampire Diaries, and ABC debuted The Gates, among others.


Everywhere you look there’s someone with sharp teeth and a taste for human blood getting a TV deal. Dracula is probably stewing somewhere in Transylvania really pissed off – talk about peaking too early. Being popular in high school has nothing on the original Count.


While I don’t exactly have my finger on the pulse of popular trends, I really don’t understand this fervor over vampires. It seems every female from junior high schoolers to grandmothers can’t get enough of pasty guys with bad haircuts. This reaction is surprising because I don’t remember the girls I went to high school with swooning at the mention of Bram Stoker.


Aside from all being about vampires in some way, every show or movie about the blood-drinkers has a cast made up of attractive people. According to my wife, who falls into the aforementioned category of the previous paragraph, the vampires are attractive so they can entice their prey. If that’s true how come Count Chocula only hung out with Franberry and Boo-Berry but never Halle Berry? Aren’t vampires creatures of the night who have bad teeth and wear makeshift tuxedos? Come to think of it, what separates them from British waiters?


Given the vampire craze, it has to be considered what other monsters of lore will see a comeback? The werewolf was played out pretty extensively in the 1980s with Teen Wolf, An American Werewolf in London, and anything featuring Robin Williams. Hopefully there will be a resurrection of movies and shows where deranged scientists try to create a person. Although to be honest, the genre peaked with Weird Science and there’s nowhere to go but down – at least that’s what Wyatt’s probably telling people.


I’m curious if the mid-90s film Interview with the Vampire planted the creative seeds in Stephenie Meyer to write the Twilight series. If so, then I’m really looking forward to the book where of a group of friends decide to start their own fraternity after one of their relationships ends when he caught the early flight home from San Diego.


Unfortunately, we know that most movies made were originally books. Rarely is it the other way around. There are always indicators to tell when a movie wasn’t originally a book – for example, the words "starring Dane Cook". Dead giveaway.


The question is, with the vampire phenomenon in full gear, will Hollywood remake the Leslie Nielsen vehicle Dracula: Dead and Loving It co-starring the other brother from Wings and Marian from Robin Hood Men in Tights.


Nah, nothing should bring that vampire back from the dead.

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