Friday, July 30, 2010

Grenade vs Landmine: Who You Got?

Last night was the premier of season two for MTV's Jersey Shore. I wrote about my expectations for the show last week here.

Let's see how GTL translated into its second go-round.

The cast and crew came to Miami by both air and car. When they arrived at their new house they hugged and pretended it had been months since they saw each other. Meanwhile, since last season wrapped they've spent what seems every weekend since together on the club/bar scene making thousands of dollars to simply show up and do nothing. Just like JaMarcus Russell when he played for the Raiders.

We found out that Snooki has a boyfriend but said she'll try not to cheat on him in Miami. Someone's getting an E for effort. Snooki made a comment about Obama's tax on tanning booths. Two wars, a fragile economy, and a monumental deficit didn't get a second of airtime in the first season. But make laying in an oven slightly more inconvenient and it's activist time for Snooks. I didn't know this season of Jersey Shore would be so politically charged.

Pauly D and The Situation decided to road trip down to Miami. Along the way they stopped to buy fireworks at what I am assuming is South of the Border. If you've never been to South of the Border you are missing out on one of America's great rest stops. If you want to take a rest from driving, go to the bathroom, and take a ride in a glass elevator to the top of a Sombrero Tower, this is your place.

First season castaway Angelina is back because she feels she deserves another shot at becoming a talentless celebrity. Really don't we all? This is America in the 21st century after all.

Not that this is breaking news but The Situation is a few cards short of a deck by allowing Angelina to room with him and Pauly D. First of all, she's proven to be a terrible person to be around socially. Second of all, she's fooled around with both Pauly D and The Situation. They say not to shit where you eat, but this scenario is shaping up for a season-long menu of turd sandwiches. Pauly D didn't seem too thrilled by The Situation's invitation to Angelina, but that's what happens when you hitch your wagon to someone whose nickname is part of a show on CNN. Don't be surprised if there's some crossfire in that room this season - most likely involving a grenade or landmine.

Angelina had a lengthy talk with Pauly D and The Situation about their living arrangement. I haven't heard that many yous thrown around since the last time I counted sheep.

At one point The Situation said he's going to bring a little New Jersey down to M-I-A. He then clarified that he meant Miami. Phew, I thought he was referring to the Minneapolis Institute of Art.

Once the whole gang arrived they decided to go out and party it up. Just like in season one, Ronnie and Sammy got into a fight even though they are no longer together. Ronnie, being the distinguished gentleman that he his called Sammy a word you don't a call a girl unless you want to be fed your balls through a straw. The guys got Ronnie out of the cab to avoid his becoming a eunuch. Shortly thereafter Vinny said Ronny was "obliviated". I'm pretty sure he meant obliterated, but then again maybe the cast is trying to start their own dialect of English. You's dig?

It may seem by my comments that I don't like Jersey Shore, but it's just the opposite. I'd watch this show every day if it were on.

After all, you can't get this kind of material watching The City.

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