Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Czech Mate: The Cutthroat Final

After 9 episodes of grueling challenges, combative gulags, petty fights, secret votes, and overall chaos, MTV's Cutthroat finally reached its last episode. Last week's episode ended with the final Gulag set to begin which would determine who was left to vie for the grand prize of hundreds of thousands of dollars, an outstanding reward for having the sole good fortune of MTV casting at your college.

For the final Gulag, Emily faced Paula and Derrick went against Tyler. After the troops gathered TJ told them they'd be playing a repeat game called “Pole Me Over”.

Tyler, who decided to make a name for himself other than the guy who goes home early, beat Derrick to make it to the finals. Derrick’s loss left the Blue Team with only Jenn and Emily remaining. Will the Blue Team be the Billie Jean King of The Challenge?

In the girl’s final, Paula showed why her best move is to avoid all competitive action by disqualifying herself. You have to give Paula credit - by skating through and avoiding The Gulags, Paula played to her strength, which is knowing her overall weakness. In her closing confession, she said she refuses to rest until she gets a win. I’m looking forward to Paula in the 2035 Challenge against Brad and Tori’s kids.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

It's The Final Countdown: Cutthroat Episode 9

When thinking of some of the best cliffhangers, The Empire Strikes Back immediately comes to mind. Han Solo was shipped off from Cloud City on Boba Fett’s transport to deliver him to Jabba. Last week’s Cutthroat ended with a cliffhanger of its own. Tina talked a big game but Theresa took her down. CT, who like Jabba is a monster difficult to understand, was getting ready to “put Johnny in the dirt”. Fade to black.

This week’s episode, the last before next week’s finale, began with Johnny strapped to CT. Here are some things I’d rather be strapped to than CT: My seat during a Dane Cook performance, the set of Fox & Friends, and the bed post when Dan and Roseanne Connor had sex. TJ gave the guys the go ahead. Going with the Star Wars theme, CT treated Johnny like the Rancor did the Gamorrean Guard.

Tina against Tori was next. This was a match-up between a girl that wanted to quit versus a girl whose bark is much worse than her bite. Surprisingly Tori beat Tina in a faster time than Theresa did, so the quitter-to-be reversed field and won to see another day. Tina’s performance was more disappointing than Bill Buckner’s ground ball ability.

Next it was Tyler’s turn against CT. CT went down on all fours and basically made Tyler do his version of riding the bull. However in this case there wasn’t a crowd of people yelling “Show ‘em!”.  The flailing worked and Tyler lasted longer than Johnny’s pitiful 19 seconds. 19 seconds? Even Andy Stitzer lasted longer than that on his wedding night.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Marriage Therapy: Cutthroat Episode 8

An old saying goes “absence makes the heart grow fonder”. This motto does not apply to everything. For example, I could never see an Ashton Kutcher movie, listen to one more Eagles song, or witness another Red Sox World Series title and be very content. However, all it takes is one week off and two weeks between viewings and my appreciation of MTV’s Cutthroat  only grows stronger.

When we left our heroes two weeks ago Dan and Camilla were sent packing, the Red Team showed as much team unity as the Miami Heat, and Laurel got to keep her “Horrible Person of the Month” parking spot.

This week’s episode started off with Sarah and Laurel sunbathing and discussing the Gray Team’s future. When thinking of the world’s best places to catch some rays, Prague probably comes in right between Oslo and Detroit.

The girls’ point of contention rested on Cara Maria and their belief of Abram keeping her around because he’s sleeping with her. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, a girl that lets you play a little game called Just the Tip or Ouch, Ouch You’re on My Hair is much more fun to have around than someone who could stand in for Cruella Deville and 101 spotted dogs wouldn’t know the difference.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...