Thursday, January 13, 2011

Don't Miss Dinner - Jersey Shore Season Three Episode 2 Recap

In the first episode of Jersey Shore Season Three we met new roommate Deena and were left on the cusp of Sammi-JWoww II. 

If Ali-Frazier had The Thrilla in Manilla, then these two ladies going tit for umm, well, tit one more time has to be called The Catfight After Midnight or The Let’s Get Scurvy in New Jersey. (You try to find something that rhymes with NJ and is relevant to a fight)

If there is one thing that is clear so far this season it is that Snooki, JWoww and now Deena do not like Sammi. For someone who goes by the nickname ‘Sweetheart’ and says she’s “sweetest bitch you’ll ever meet” she’s not exactly a sweetheart or sweet in any way. Old cigarette ads were less deceptive.  

This week’s episode began with fists flying and hair pulling. It wasn’t interesting to see that some of the people tried to break it up, but it was telling that Ronnie wasn’t one of them. It’s like he takes his cues on dealing with girls getting hit from The Situation. 

Snooki endeared herself to me even more by teaming up with Deena to test the hammock’s Pocket Guidette balancing ability. (It failed by the way)

The Situation said if there’s anyone who could help Ronnie and Sammi it’s him. I’d rather let Rex Ryan sell my wife a pair of shoes.

MVP sat around talking about whether Deena’s boobs were real or not. Pauly D said he likes fake boobs. In other news he also likes having sex, watching football and making money.

The roommates got ready to hit the clubs, which could only mean one thing…T-shirt Time.

At the club a young Jersey-ite took a shining to Vinny. She followed him around the club, turning up everywhere he went. Vinny called her out on it and kept evading her like Bill Clinton and Dick Cheney did the draft.

JWoww drunk dialed her boyfriend and forgot to tell him Happy Anniversary, which he didn’t take well. Come on dude, cut the girl some slack. She was out drinking, it was really late, and she was distraught over losing something. Plus have you seen her? She could forget my name for at least a month and I’d let it slide.

Vinny ditched the stalker and met a girl who asked him what he wanted to do, then said he could do it. Fox News getting a Sarah Palin interview isn’t that easy.

The Situation did what he does best and tried to block a friend from getting a little female action. Vinny learned his lesson from Miami and last summer and locked the door. Amazing what locking a door will do to keep intruders out. Deena saw Mike distraught over not getting the bar girl and offered her company to him, to which he said he’d prefer the comfort of a peanut butter sandwich. Rejected twice by The Situation in a week had to be tough on Deena’s ego. I mean the guy would probably have sex with Lorena Bobbitt.

Ronnie and Sammi took the car and went to church. Did that stop the rest from trying to GTL?  The French had a better chance of keeping the Germans out in 1940.

Ron and Sam ditched the group for Sunday Dinner which did not go over well. Certain rules of the Jersey Shore are not to be broken. You don’t go to a club wearing a collared shirt. You don’t fall in love. And you don’t miss Sunday dinner.

After dinner, the cast returned to the t-shirt store where they worked the summer before. At this point why does MTV make them work? They make tens of thousands of dollars an episode. What is working in a t-shirt store going to teach them?

Snooki and Deena decided to play kickball on the roof. This lasted all of a minute before they kicked the ball off the roof. They recruited Vinny and tried to use their best efforts to retrieve the ball. This effort included combining brooms and funnels and actually worked. Those kids in The Sandlot were minor leaguers compared to the Jersey crew.

That night it was time to hit the boardwalk. Everyone had fun except for Sammi. I feel this might be a recurring theme going forward.  Sammi said to Ronnie that this is just like Miami.

If she meant that their relationship is getting in the way of a perfectly good guilty pleasure enjoyed by millions, then yes she’s right. This is just like Miami.

Make sure you come back Tuesday for my re-cap of Monday night's episode. That’s right, next week there are two all-new Jersey Shore episodes. Get all the details here

Don’t forget to follow me on Twitter (@TVSteve1) and become a fan on Facebook.

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