Thursday, February 17, 2011

Eggs Sorrentino - Jersey Shore Season Three Episode 8 Recap

If there’s only one day left in the work week that can only mean one thing – that it’s Thursday, or as my morning commute friends on The Kane Show like to call it – Jersday. This week in Jersey Shore news saw Pauly D hanging out with The Favre Slayer and Super Bowl MVP Aaron Rodgers in Las Vegas. I wonder which mantle Rodgers likes more. I’m sure winning the Super Bowl has to be awesome and is probably first, but putting sports’ biggest attention whore in his place has to be a close second. Ronnie plead not guilty to an assault charge everyone with functioning eyes knows he committed in season one.  

The Jersey Shore news isn’t confined to just current cast members either. Former castmate and overall wet blanket Angelina got engaged. You’ve got to have a really short memory if you’re willing to marry a girl who for all intents and purposes had sex on camera less than a year ago and apparently made her way around with two other guys from Jersey Shore. When one of them is The Situation, then that has to mean this guy has a worse memory than the guy in Memento.

Before we begin the review, let’s take a moment of silence for Uncle Leo who passed away this week. Somewhere an angel just walked past him and said “Hello”.  At least for the angel’s sake I hope he did.

This week’s episode kicked off with a little flashback to last week when Sammi left the house. We just can’t get this drama off the show no matter what happens.

Ronnie seemed pretty remorseful. The Situation came in and tried to help Ronnie out. He said some days he’s Uncle Situation, others he’s Dr. Situation, and even on others he’s Bang a Girl Situation. We haven’t seen the latter in a while. I guess tonight he’s All Talk Situation.

Sammi got home and her mom greeted her at the door. They went in the house and she recapped the fight, which led to more video flashbacks. MTV has a harder time letting go of this relationship than the people who were in it.

Ronnie was wearing a shirt that said “Kill Your TV”. One way to do that is to date Ronnie then get him pissed at you so he'll break all your shit.

Ronnie went from room to room looking for support. The guys said they were there for him. The girls decided to start a cake fight by smearing it in Vinny’s hair. Pauly D and Vinny decided that meant a prank war. This involved hiding dog shit in each other’s pillows.

Vinny took Snooki’s stuffed animal that apparently she sleeps with every night and hung it off the balcony. Snooki didn’t like this and started walking around the house calling his name. The stuffed animal’s name, not Vinny’s. For what it's worth, neither answered her.

Snooki asked The Situation if he saw it and of course like the prick he is, told her where it was. Vinny just became my favorite roommate by changing Mike’s name from The Situation to The Snitchuation. I prefer The Bitchuation but hey, this is family programming. If your family is the Bunkers.

Vinny let us know he’s the master plunger of the house. He met his match in what seems to be a present Ronnie left the house before he went to work. At work Ronnie went into the bathroom and cried. A lot of people hate their jobs, and I imagine spending a few hours alone with Deena and Snooki is tough, but this is taking it a little too far.

Mike said that if MVP takes Ronnie out to the bar and he cries in the corner all night, that’s a cockblock right there. Well, he should know.

MVP took Ronnie to the barber shop so the girls could pack up Sammi’s stuff and move it into their room. Apparently Sammi’s underwear needs to be sprayed with Fabreeze.

At the barbershop The Situation had his eyebrows waxed. He’s a real Italian like Milli Vanilli were real singers.

Ronnie came home and saw all Sammi’s stuff gone. In their haste to speed up the process of moving her stuff to their room, the girls left a bag behind. They would have been a real liability in cleaning up Wyatt and Gary’s party before Wyatt's parents came home.

Ronnie said he and Sam need a break. We all do Ron, we all do.

Pauly D was in the bathroom getting fresh when he saw a pair of panties on the ground. He pulled a Situation move by putting them on the bean bag front and center. No one took credit for them and it was deemed they belonged to a random girl brought home.

Deena said people haze her more than the others. Well when you tell everyone you can’t go to the bathroom, you’re what is known as an easy target. My guess is she’s been called that before for completely other reasons.

At the club Pauly saw an ex from home. The Bitchuation tried to pull a robbery on her. Washington had to trust Benedict Arnold more than Pauly and Vinny should have faith in Mike when women are around.

Snooki gave Ronnie an honest assessment of her take on their relationship. Dr. Snooki said they didn’t belong together. She said all they did was fight. Ronnie denied this even though there’s more video footage of them fighting than all the Rocky movies combined.

Snooki was on the prowl and found what she called a little Mario brother. She decided to take him home. Snooki let us know she hasn’t had sex in four months, and another patch of hair has fallen out of her dad’s head.

Vinny recognized the guy Snooki brought home as one of the guys who barged onto the roofdeck to get their cousin who he was in the process of getting to know better. Vinny decided to return the favor by recruiting Ronnie to kick in the door to the Smush Room and taking Snooki out. She came back in and the guy asked her what his name was. She forgot and said Bernard. Like it mattered.

Vinny brought a girl back from the club. He took her to his room and The Bitchuation barged in to check on them. Mike must have gone to the Brutus School of friendship.

Ronnie and Deena talked about how alone Ronnie was at the house without Sammi. He said he wanted to go home too. Monkey-see monkey-do eh Ron? If Sammi decided to get a job and not return to TV would you do the same?

Please say yes.

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1 comment:

  1. Hi there! I love watching Jersey Shore on MTV every Thursday night. I can't get enough of the Jersey Shore drama! I get to watch it unfold all in HD since I subscribe to DISH Network. I get over 200 national HD channels which is more than any other TV provider. As a DISH employee I can tell you that you can get HD Free for Life as a qualified customer. You should really check out DishNetwork.com for more info.

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