Thursday, February 24, 2011

She's Baaaack - Jersey Shore Season Three Episode 9 Recap

This past week we saw what some of the cast of Jersey Shore likes to be on. Snooki was on Regis & Kelly where she compared Regis to an ape. The Situation was on Ellen where he continued one of the greatest con-man schemes - that he is a good guy with some discernible talent who should be promoted rather than vilified for being one of the most two-faced people this side of Harvey Dent. JWoww said she will be on the cover of Playboy and in her birthday suit inside the pages once Jersey Shore has run its course – which means we should see her on the cover shortly after Season 4.

In scenes for this week’s episode MTV teases the return of Sammi to the show. She was gone from the show for about as long as Brett Favre was “retired” in 2008. And 2009. And 2010. I’ve looked forward to this return like jewelry stores look forward to Lindsay Lohan doing a little window shopping.

The episode kicked off with Snooki kicking her guy out of the bed and sending him home. Apparently this guy didn’t measure up and Snooki made plans to meet up with another guy that night. Charlie Sheen doesn’t move this fast.

Ronnie called his dad. I think I heard his dad say to him “What’s going on bro.” After a second sentence I know I heard him say that because he said it again. This reminds me of when I call my dad. And by that I mean both Ronnie and I use the phone to call our dads, everything else is completely different.

Pauly, Mike and Deena went to work. They took about an hour break to have fun on the boardwalk. I didn’t know the t-shirt store was unionized.

Ronnie’s dad came to Seaside to talk some sense into his son. A lot of the conversation revolved around Ronnie’s misery and Sammi. When the cameras weren’t rolling I imagine the conversation went like this until Ronnie changed his mind. The lone exception being Italians don't eat Turkey Pot Pie.

Ronnie took the words of his dad to heart and decided to stay at the house while making his tens of thousands of dollars a week. As any 3rd grader would say, “No duh.”

Snooki called the guy she made plans with but no one answered. I smell a stand-up. Snooki said she doesn’t mind calling 20 times in a row. She probably doesn’t mind not seeing this guy again then.

Snooki’s guy found out the guy she hooked up with is cousins with the guy she was supposed to see, or something like that.

Vinny was on toilet duty. I guess that turned Snooki on because she asked Vinny if he wanted to bang. She changed her mind and said she’s over him because he made a joke about her bringing a guy home.

At the club that night Snooki seemed to let her animosity towards Vinny go.

JWoww ran into some of Roger’s friends and told them to text him that she misses him. Does her phone not work?

Back at the house Snooki deiced that since neither she nor Vinny brought home anyone they might as well "snuggle" with each other. Vinny asked her not to stay with him. Pauly said Vinny should just get with her to which Vinny said he wasn’t going to go somewhere that another guy was last night. He lives in Seaside, so that kind of philosophy would rule out probably 50% of the dating pool.

Ronnie called Sammi. I almost had this reaction. Ronnie said people couldn’t be friends with someone they used to date. Apparently he’s never seen Seinfeld.

Snooki and Deena wanted to use the phone to call a cab to go somewhere but Situation was on it. He told them he’d call the cab himself for them. The girls wanted to go to some place in Seaside called Jenks but Mike sent them to Times Square. I don’t like The Situation at all, but this is a great prank.

In the cab Snooki and Deena were fishing for compliments from the cab driver. Then Snooki asked him if he wanted to see her tits. And the slow disintegration of Snooki's dad continues.

The guys wanted to go grab dinner but Mike said he needed five minutes. Five turned into ten which turned into more. I don’t remember Sonny Corleone taking an hour to get ready before Connie’s wedding – and he got laid more often that day than Sitch has all season.

The guys had enough and left Mike behind. If only the MTV producers would do the same. In the car on the way to eat, Ronnie, Pauly and Vinny talked about Mike being the lowlife he is. I guess they read this.

In the cab, Nicole and Snooki wondered why they’d been in the car for over an hour and not at the bar that is in their town. Queue the Jeopardy music before they figure something is amiss.

Situation said it was not common courtesy for the guys to leave him at the house. I guess it’s very courteous to rat out your friends, try to steal their dates, barge in on them while with women and a laundry list of other grievances. Karma isn’t just a club in Seaside.

The Situation went out and got food for himself. He sat at home and ate alone while pretending the guys were there with him. He even talked to pretend Pauly, Ronnie and Vinny. All that’s missing is a receding hairline and this is like looking into the future for The Situation.

It took Deena and Snooki to see signs for Staten Island to realize something was up. Then they saw New York City and it dawned on them Mike sent them somewhere other than the bar. These two make Lloyd and Harry look like members of Mensa.

When Snooki and Deena got back to the house they told Mike they had a good time in the cab. Then Snooki tried to get Vinny and Pauly to apologize for not intervening on the prank. Vinny said he couldn’t snitch on a prank. He should have because if memory serves, The Situation told Snooki where her stuffed animal was when Vinny hid it.

The episode ended with Sammi walking back into the house. If you look at the weather channel you’ll now see a wet blanket settling in over Seaside Heights.

Make sure to catch me on Progressive Blend Radio’s anniversary show this Sunday between 5-9pm where I’ll be talking about Jersey Shore and other things. Check in on my Facebook fan page and Twitter feed for more details.

Don’t forget to follow me on Twitter (@TVSteve1) and become a fan on Facebook.

1 comment:

  1. Read this one. It's better.


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