Thursday, March 3, 2011

Sitch Ed - Jersey Shore Season Three Episode 10 Recap

In between last Jerday and this Jersday we learned that The Situation will be on the dais for the Comedy Central Roast of Donald Trump. This is like putting Sarah Palin on a panel of scientists. We also learned that Snooki has plans to create an empire after Jersey Shore raps up. My guess is her first act as Empress will be to eliminate the tax on tanning booths. Her second will be to make steroids comprehensive with vaccines so we can become a nation of juiceheads.

When we last left the heroes of Seaside, Sammi re-entered the house after being away for anywhere between a day and a month as MTV makes it tough to tell the passage of time.

This week’s episode began where last week’s left off, and that is with one half of the not-so-dynamic duo re-entering the house. Ronnie saw her and went outside.

Sammi went around and said hi to everyone. Deena defined ecstatic using the word happy twice. Her nickname should be Websters.

Mike told Ronnie not to worry about Sammi being back and that they’d continue to do what they normally do. So Ronnie will get drunk and sulk and Mike will try to steal any girl within a ten foot radius of his friends.

The girls told Sammi that Ronnie was so depressed with her not around. That makes one of us.

The crew wasted no time in getting ready to go out. Before they went out Snooki told Vinny she wanted to cuddle later on that night. She then confessed that she was having feelings for him and wanted to give it a shot. She also said she named Vinny’s penis Moby Dick. I thought it was Seabiscuit. Regardless, if Vinny ever spends another night alone it’s probably because The Situation stole his girl. There are some reputations that you want to have. Being smart, having a lot of money, and being able to hold yourself up in push-up position without using your arms are just a few.

Ronnie followed Sammi around like Gloria Allred does a victimized porn star. Sammi told him to back off a bit. He backed off so far he went home.

Snooki told Sammi she’s really into Vinny. She said if he brings a girl home tonight she’s going to be pretty upset. Queue a young lady telling Vinny she wants to have 10 of his kids. Who is this, the Dominican Michelle Duggar?

Surprise, surprise Vinny went home with the girl who said she wanted to have sex with him.

Snooki went into Vinny’s room while he was getting to know Dominican Michelle Duggar. Who does she think she is barging in like that…The Situation? He patented that move.

Ronnie and Sammi got into a skirmish over the appropriateness of interrupting Vinny while he was smushing. She’s been back for a drink and already the fighting is starting.

Snooki cried because Vinny brought someone home. Sammi said he’s a pig. Vinny said she’s a hypocrite for him bringing a girl home when she’s been getting close with half of Seaside. Vinny, meet me at camera three…maybe she’s bringing those guys home to make you jealous. Perhaps she developed feelings for you and needs to get attention from you that she feels is lacking. When she asked you to cuddle later she was hoping it meant you’d pass up the rest of Seaside to be with her. Nah, she’s a hypocrite.

The next day the roommates decided to go bowling. Snooki said she wasn’t going because she was tired, hungover and pissed at Vinny. That’s too bad, I’d love to see Snooki bowl. I imagine it would go something like this.

Sammi talked to Vinny about Snooki. She said it’s none of her business but then told him to do the right thing. Apparently you don’t even have to be dating Sammi to have her boss you around.

Back at home, Snooki told JWoww she blacked out the previous night. Despite that, she confirmed her feelings for Vinny. Snooki said she was embarrassed. So getting arrested and hooking up with The Situation doesn’t bother her but telling a guy she likes him turns her into a shy adolescent?

Deena said Snooki isn’t the type of girl that can just hook up with somebody. We have almost three seasons of video evidence saying otherwise.

The house has another clogged toilet. Who lives here Harry Dunne?

The plumbers showed up to fix the toilet. Snooki took a shining to one of them and actually hung out in the infested room as long as she could before the smell overcame her. I guess her fondness for Vinny is gone.

After the plumbers left, Snooki decided to clean the hazmat bathroom. So Snooki does bathrooms? Maybe I’ve been too rough on her lately.

While The Situation was out at a bar, Sammi, Ronnie and Snooki cheesed his bed by putting all kinds of cheeses under his mattress so his room would stink. While I applaud the effort, doesn’t Ronnie sleep in the same room?

The Situation and Pauly D brought girls home. At least this way, Pauly is almost assured The Situation won’t interrupt him.

The next day Mike said he kicked the girl out because she smelled like rancid cheese. He said he let the girl Lewinsky him then told her the cab was there for her to go home. Always the gentleman, right ladies? The Situation then proceeded to let people know a person couldn’t get an STD from oral sex, which JWoww quickly corrected him on by calling a clinic. I wonder if that number was on the Duck Phone's speed dial

The Situation also thinks a girl can’t get pregnant the first time she has sex, the pill is foolproof and he has talent.

I don't know which of those three is the most delusional.

In case you missed it here is my appearance on Progressive Blend Radio talking about Jersey Shore. I will be on again March 13 to preview the Roast of Donald Trump.

Don’t forget to follow me on Twitter (@TVSteve1) and become a fan on Facebook.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...